Pretty Amazing

So, I had a rough week at the trailer park and I was aware and thought I was laying it at the Lords feet and thought I was doing a good job keeping my attitude and sights in check...but I think it carried over into this week and my son picked up on my bad attitude and it transformed into major temper tantrums through the week. Making it 2 really rough weeks in a row. We were doing homeschooling as a test run this year, because I wasn't sure if I could handle Elijah as a student and son...so today while talking to my dear friend, she asked if we had evaluated our lot yet, if maybe it was time to send him to school. And I don't want to quit and I don't want to give up yet...but boy do I wish it was easier. Elijah has always been strong-willed, independent, intelligent...these can all be very good qualities! And let's face it!!! He came by the strong-willed, independent trait quite honestly with a double wammy, from mommy and daddy :) But the temper tantrums that he's been throwing the last couple of months have me always at my wits end...of course, that can be a good place to be as long as I find God and rely on Him in that place and don't just run and hide from yet another battle. It feels really horrid to think of my child as a battle. You know the Bible says that we don't wrestle against flesh and blood...my son is not the enemy! But there is a very real enemy and he is sneaky and conniving, cunning and intelligent, and while not omniscient or that powerful, he is definitely able to use things to his advantage. And if he can't make me turn my back on God, he's definitely going to try to keep me so busy and worn out that I don't glorify God to my fullest potential. And yet God is still Sovereign and able! My favorite verse is to Be still and know that I am God, I WILL BE exalted...so, even in this season of reigning in and finding the right balance with my son, both for him but also for the daughter who in her very gentle and sweetness often gets the raw end of the deal because she is so much less demanding in her attitude and behavior.

My Elijah Alden is pretty amazing. He is very sensitive to his surroundings and notices nouances and changes in behavior and needs in others. He has great compassion for others. He is very smart. He is strong. He loves the Lord Jesus. I believe the Lord has great things in store for this young man in the making! I so desire to teach him to be obedient and to love the Lord our God above and beyond anything else this world has to offer, beyond fame, beyond achievement, beyond accolades, beyond his bride, beyond friendships, beyond careers, beyond family...I desire for this son of mine to walk in a purity and naiivity that his father and I did not get, I want him to know the Lord in such a powerful way that His voice would ring loud and clear and not dull and distant as in many of us, I want him to walk in purity and look at hearts as the Lord does and not on outward fleshly desires. So, I chose to set this year aside to spend with my son, my pretty amazing son. So I write this to bear witness to how amazing I know my son to be, that when I stumble and get frustrated with the very hot refining fire in our life right now, that I would remember and lay claim to how pretty amazing I think my son is.