Men love honor

J and I don't really go out on dates. We don't have family close by and he feels very strongly that the kids are our responsibility and doesn't really want to leave them with a sitter. And since he feels so strongly about it, I don't really have to think about it and have an opinion, cuz well it's not going to trump him on this matter...so yesterday when J and E came in with big ole grins on their faces and looking like they had something up their sleeves I reacted with sarcasm when I should have reacted with glee. J had already planned with E (who is officially old enough to stay home alone) for him to be responsible and take sweet care of his sister so that J could take me on a date. He came in with E on his heels and asked if he could take me on a date, a surprise date. Feeling the playfulness of their moods I said: date? what's that? Well, I watched as my man totally deflated. He didn't even hang out and verbally spar with me, he just left the scene.

When you work with your spouse you can get into a routine and just because you are always together, does not mean that you are always feeling together. We used to be good at turning opportunities into dates: random walks on the beach during lunch, quiet moments stolen here or there, stopping for lunch when we get off early...but these last few months have been high stress, so there haven't been many moments.

I went to him and offered him a sincere apology for my sarcasm and lack of respect and told him I would love to go on a surprise date with him. Y'all he planned the whole day: a cup of tea and a walk and deep conversation on a park bench, a stop at the beach to see what it looked like today (glorious), lunch and a chick-flick. He picked all the places and the movie, the only decision I had to make was what to order for lunch. It was a beautiful day to spend the day together, communicating deeply and hoping for the future.

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Husbands that are well respected love their wives well and jump through hoops to make them smile and to make her load easier. It can be hard to rewire your brain to offer up respect, but our men, yes that includes our sons, need respect like they need air. It will totally reinvent your relationship. It takes some getting used to, the intentionally speaking respectful and honoring, but it is worth the shock factor when a foreign sentence comes out of your mouth.

Investing

My daughter is reaching an age where we are starting to talk about spiritual things and dive into Truths. And I am very excited! Yesterday we stopped at the beach after work to enjoy the first rays of sunshine in a few weeks. It turned into a lovely afternoon of soaking up some vitamin D. She made fast friends with some girls and was on her way to laughter and play. Amidst her new friends and hardy play, she kept hollering back to me and asking if I saw her. I have noticed a pattern of her constant need of approval and attention. She loves gymnastics and doing all kinds of cartwheels and roundoffs and she has a new fascination with all things handstand. But again, she wants to know that I see every single one of them. And she can pull off about 3 handstands a minute. That turns out to be a lot. We have had conversations about gymnastics being a serious sport and that she must absolutely love the sport and all that it entails more than being watched or she won’t succeed. Because to be good at gymnastics requires an immense amount of training.

So, this morning as I was praying for her, I was asking the Lord that she would know Him intimately, that she would know that He is the Lover of her soul, that He delights in all of her and that He sees everything she does, that she would not seek to please people but to please Him. A little later after she had finished her devotions and was recapping them for me, she said: I should know that God is with me all the time. She had read about Rahab and the walls of Jericho. And then she personalized it by saying that when she has bad dreams (as she had last night) she doesn’t have to be afraid. And of course, I affirmed that and then broke down 1 John 4:4 He who is in you (God) is greater than he (Satan) that is in the world. And in her childlike inquisitiveness she beautifully asked: So, there are 8 billion gods? And I in my adult logic didn’t really understand and so I must have had quite a look on my face because she said: there’s 8 billion people. And I had an aha moment. Then we spoke about God being One God, in 3 persons and how it’s the same Holy Spirit that dwells in each of our temples.

I so enjoy these moments of teaching Truths in every day setting. It is a serious call to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. Some days I get in my own way and other days I feel victorious. Today I count as a win!