Reflections and Beauty

It’s November…a lot of people probably do their reflecting in December and January as they contemplate their resolutions and goals for the coming year. For me, it often starts in November and corresponds with our thankful tree. As I reflect on what I’m thankful for it makes me reminisce on the year.
This year has been quite a whirlwind. In January I stepped completely outside my comfort zone and invited about 20 women to my tiny, cramped trailer to share the vision God had begun to show me. 12 showed up to hear what I had to say as I shared my passion for Titus 2 and what that looked like with a community approach. That meeting launched a small group that we have named Barnabus Tribe, a young ladies Bible study and the Mommy/Daughter group was solidified.
Shortly after that meeting I found out I was pregnant. Surprise! And I thought isn’t that just like God to wait until I launch several small groups to breathe new life into my old hope of having a large family. It was time to  find a house, like now. We had been looking and looking and He only opened 1 door and it was in a different town and further away than we wanted to be. But, our family was growing and we were already stuffed like sausages in our tiny 2 bedroom trailer so we bid on our new home.
We miscarried the week before we closed on our new fixer upper. We spent 2 months gutting the house before moving into a construction zone. The kids met the neighbors and made new friends and eventually started the new school year off at new schools. One kid loves it and the other is set on missing and hanging onto his old friends in the next town over.
The small groups are amazing. They have blessed me in ways I can’t yet describe. To see ladies grow in their walk with the Lord and take seriously the command to love our neighbors as ourselves, such an honor to watch. God continues to build this desire for community deep in my heart. Yes, I know, funny that He would give this introvert such a love of people and desire to be a catalyst to deep and meaningful relationships. I want to be a place to connect people, to have get togethers and watch as people meet and friendships develop.
The young ladies Bible study morphed and I was introduced to a whole new set of ladies. Watching people fall in love with Jesus and have Him rock and rebuild/restructure their lives is one of the coolest things to get to witness!
Then we found out we were pregnant again. Now, why at age 42, 10 years of a faded desire for a larger family, without making any changes, I would find myself pregnant again…no clue. Jason was over the moon and I was reserved and didn’t want to tell people yet. I was thrilled and scared. We were going to tell our parents at Thanksgiving. While at girls night Friday I started having a miscarriage. I knew what was happening but didn’t say anything because it was fun and I knew that would make it awkward and end the festivities. There are 2 sides to that coin, my not wanting to be center of attention and their desire as women to nurture one that they love.
I have no idea why in this beautiful season and all that God has done and is doing that we would suffer 2 losses. My sweet tender-hearted girl is heartbroken. My logical and analytical son says I told you I wasn’t getting excited this time until there was actually a baby. My tender-hearted hubby thinks this is his fault, punishment. I can’t wait to see how God brings beauty from these ashes. Because there’s no doubt in my mind that He will. I am still weak and in pain, it is a fresh wound for us. We are trudging along like we do. God has been so good to us and those 7 years of adventure He knitted us together in such a cool way and prepared us to support each other when things are rough.
I am more grateful than I can say for the army of women God has surrounded me with. Last night, for the 1st time in my life, a girlfriend brought my family supper…beautiful gift. Community is an awesome thing.
#journeyingtogether #journeywithme #titustwojourney #communitybuilding #strongertogether

Muscle Memory

The other day the kids were watching the new karate kid. I was doing other things but kept catching snippets of dialogue which sent my brain on a jog. Mr. Miagi offers to help the kid learn to defend himself. He has the kid doing basic exercises (taking off his coat, putting it back on), lots and lots of repetition of these basic exercises. The kid agrees to do things Mr. Miagi’s way until he gets frustrated with the monotony and lack of fighting skills.
We live in a social media run society. Most of our interactions involve likes and how many likes a post gets. Everyone is important and thinks it’s all about them. We were told as kids that we can be anything we want.
How often has God asked us to do something simple? And we agree and even have a great attitude in the beginning. Then when we think we have done our time and our visions of grandeur are not being fulfilled...have we walked away? Have we said: I must have misheard? There has to be more than this.
Mr. Miagi comes in and shows the young grasshopper how to take his muscle memory actions and turn them into useful defense moves. There was a reason behind the routine, the monotony, the same thing over and over.
Are we so busy wishing we were on stage? Or writing a book? Or leading a conference? Or something else that seems earthly important and status changing? That we have totally missed the muscle memory exercises that are necessary for the calling and purpose that our obedience is going to walk us into?
Our spiritual life is much like a muscle and it must be used, flexed, stretched and challenged.

#titustwojourney
#journeyingtogether
#journeywithme

Stand for Truth

I am thoroughly enjoying reading through Daniel right now. It comes on the heel of Ezekiel which I had a hard time with this time around, but as I turned the page to Daniel God so encouraged my heart with his plight. I know the stories of Daniel are taught over and over and so we can approach it with a dull “I already know this” attitude. But, God gave me a newness as I have been reading, a refreshing as He opened my eyes to the realness of the emotions Daniel would have felt as he stood steadfast for His God.
As he and his pals headed to the furnace he said: even if God doesn’t save us I won’t turn away. It also says that the king had the furnace heated to 7 times it’s normal heat, it was so hot that the soldiers leading them to the fire were killed. The king was in awe because 4 men could be seen in the fire (what kind of furnace must this have been for them to be able to see inside and contain that kind of heat?). They went in fully clothed, turbans and layers and all. When they came out there was nothing singed nor did they smell of smoke. They didn’t even smell like smoke!!! How cool and awesome is our God?!
I have only read the 1st 6 chapters and already Daniel has been highly sought by 3 kings. Not only was Daniel highly sought after, but because of his steadfast devotion, these kings saw the real and living God. These pagan kings praised, honored and glorified God. And, not because Daniel’s life was easy and made of comfort, but because no matter what he faced, he stood for God.
He had real fear. He had to interpret a death sentence to one of the kings. It says that he was stunned when he saw what he had to interpret; I’m thinking I’d have been shaking in my boots. But he gave the king the interpretation and he was given a position of honor and power and the king fell dead.
The next king was tricked via his ego and made an edict to worship the king or die. Well Daniel continued to fall to his knees daily to his Lord and was ratted out. The king could not deny his edict and threw Daniel in the lions den and sealed it with signet rings so there would be no doubt that he was properly locked up. That king was so twisted up that he fasted and didn’t sleep a wink but also didn’t order up entertainment so that he could ignore his feelings. He raced out at dawn to see Daniel. Then the king issued a decree that everyone must tremble in fear before the God of Daniel.
I am just blown away by how God was magnified! A faithful man in the deep sea of sin and depravity, a pagan nation ripe with idolatry, witchcraft, mediums and sex for hire made a massive difference in 3 generations of kings and their kingdoms. A faithful man. More and more I have this deep-seated feeling like the church will soon be required to stop straddling the fence. The time is coming when we must pick a side and stop warming seats. Will we be found like Daniel? Oh, how I want to be found like Daniel. The one matters. If you host a small group and only one shows up, it matters. If you have lunch with one and change the protectory of their life it matters. Jesus left the 99 to find the one lost sheep. One matters. Who can you impact today? You don’t have to be famous or have a huge following, it matters that you are faithful where God has you right now.
#titustwojourney #journeyingtogether #journeywithme #Daniel #faithful #standforTruth