Shiny

Last year I had this feeling, I couldn’t quite put it into words, but it was there nonetheless…I felt like I was running on fumes, like I was surviving on my fat reserves. I kept standing on the same scriptures, the ones that God had used in many, many ways in my life and marriage and family. I kept ending up in the same favorite passages. It was like my comfort zone, like a favorite blanket on a chilly afternoon. I am so glad that I had those fat reserves, so glad I had those passages to stand on. But, aren’t you glad our God is more than we can put in yesterdays box? His mercies are new every morning. I can spend my lifetime learning and loving Him and still not know but a glimpse of Who He is.

Have you ever seen the progressive sanctification in your life? Can you look back at your maturing and see things that you thought were so absolute and that you knew so well and now you think, oh that was so childish, I hardly knew what I was talking about. God, Abba is constantly challenging us to trust Him in new ways, to commit to Him in new ways and to grow in our love and faith and forgiveness. Can you look back at a major, catastrophic event in your life and say Thank You Jesus! I have been looking back over the 1^st 7 years of our marriage and I have been thanking God for the hell we came out of. I’m not brave enough to say I would willingly walk it again, but I am so grateful for all the fruit that came out of it and for our fully restored marriage.

I have been reading, studying, memorizing His Word for many years…I went to a Christian College, then to Bible School, worked in full-time ministry for years and yet I feel like I can never read enough of His Word, but it had become comfortable, complacent, boring, if you will.

I am reveling in this word ‘New’ right now. He is doing a New thing in my heart! A New thing in my walk! He is going to stretch me and grow me into this New thing that He has in mind. Never has the living, breathing Word of God, been more refreshing than the last few days. Twice in the last week it has literally jumped off the pages and wowed me out of my complacency. His Word is indeed active and alive and sharper than any two-edged sword.

I do not know what this New thing is. But here is what I do know. I don’t like to be bored and I am ready for the challenge. I don’t imagine it’ll be like a fairytale, I imagine it will be dirty and hard and ugly and glorious all at the same time!

Gypsy Sabatical

This move has been incredibly hard. Harder even than I’ve been able to process the last few months. So hard in fact, that I told a friend the other day that this gypsy is ready to hang up her gypsy shoes because moving and starting over with friends, activities and church has become a lot like work.

The hard part was not the lack of employment. For some reason, to have faith in that area was easy for me. My Father is the owner of the cattle on a thousand hills. I never doubted His Provisions…not that the filling out applications and searching for work was fun, but I knew He had a plan and that it would line up as soon as the time was right. And it did. Jason really likes his job. There’s room for advancement, his boss is a nice guy and willing to show him more than is currently required so that in the future there’s room for advancement.

Even though I knew that the move to ND was never supposed to be permanent, I threw myself all in. I let go of all my quiet, reserved inhibitions and made some deep and true friendships in the short time that we were there. God restored our marriage and as a family we grew leaps and bounds. But letting go is harder than just moving to a new town. Letting go of the expectations that things will be the same and being willing to embrace the ‘new’ that God has for us is very, very hard. I have been exhausted and off kilter for weeks. Every day I seem to be learning a lesson that I can’t yet put into words.

It is beautiful here! The people are offering more than just surface deep southern hospitality. They have genuinely embraced us and welcomed us in. In this park where there are 7 permanent campers, we have become like a family. We have family meals together on Sundays, we visit like the neighbors that we are, we have made friends. We visited a church the last two Sundays, which we think is the one. And yet, still there is something missing. More and more I see it is me. This move is not going to be like the 1^st part of our adventure and I have got to let go and embrace what He is store for us on this leg of our adventure. I have got to let go of the attitude that this is temporary and must open myself up to whatever He is up to, so that He will let the floodgates open. It is a sin to have faith in one area and to block off another from Him altogether.

Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Yes, Adonai! I see. And I am ready to listen and to embrace whatever is in our path on this new adventure. I will open myself up and be ready to dive into new friendships!