Solomon says in the Bible that there is nothing new under
the sun (Ecc 1:9). The enemy has no new tricks, he is not all-knowing, he is
simply crafty and he waits for moments, seasons and opportunities of
vulnerability. Recently, I was vulnerable to just such an attack. I don’t want
to be just a writer of when the times are good, but I also want to be real and
relevant.
I wrote the last blog, drawing a very definite line in the
sand about us having a house before the end of the year. Our journey of faith,
the culmination of this season of adventure for us. On the heels of that high
came a definite low. I am not an overly emotional girl, I don’t often sit down
and just cry or feel such overwhelming sorrow that my energy is all but sapped.
I am more of a ‘take the bull by the horns’ kind of girl. If the Bible says it
then I will face it with my head held high and a smile on my face, even if I’m
shaking in my boots. That’s who I am.
So, I wrote the blog, then was given an opportunity/nudge
to pray over some men that I walked away from. I then annihilated my comfort walls
and went back, in obedience and prayed over them, so now I’m feeling good about
myself. I stepped out with the blog and with live humans. The next day was
Monday and it donned with heavy skies and a forecast of 2 weeks of rain, which
meant no work for 2 weeks. Then our truck started acting funny, so to the shop
it went. Our dog went to the Vet for a regular check-up, leaves with a diagnosis
of heart worms and it will cost: more than is currently in the bank. Our heater
wasn’t working, and it was cold and wet. Then my son asks me if we will always
have a job that’s so easily affected by the weather. My folks were sending lots
of pictures of the new cabin they are building, they were excited not bragging,
but due to all my woes it hit me like a ton of bricks that day. All these things
built up and I ended up in bed, weeping, feeling utterly defeated. Laying there
with no energy to get up, and no real energy to pray, I just kept thanking the
Lord for bottling and counting all my tears and for loving me and for having a
plan out of this despair.
This pit was hard to climb out of. I was sensitive and
overwhelmed. It took a few days to be able to fully process it all and to see
God in it. He has been so gracious to me. To remind me that He wants to be my All
in all. Turns out our truck transmission
had a 50k mile warranty and we were at 47k miles, so it was fully covered and
restored. Work resumed. We figured out how to get our puppy taken care of. God
is faithful especially when we are weak. And He was not at all surprised that
the current was bringing in the perfect storm to bring me to my knees and cry
out, Father I need You!
