Worldview

What is your worldview? This is probably not something most of us sit around thinking about and yet it impacts every decision and action that you make in life.  Thefreedictionary.com defines worldview: The overall perspective from which one sees and interprets the world. 2. A collection of beliefs about life and the universe held by an individual or group.

 

I guess I’ve been pondering this because of all the stuff going on in our worlds…abortion, medicine, elections, Muslim curriculum, common core, ever present attempts to fuel a race war, Hollywood’s continued push to desensitize us to sin…the list is really endless! I don’t really want to even talk about any of these issues specifically. I just wonder what our worldviews really are.

 

For instance: if you are a Christian (we’ll define this as someone who loves, honors and obeys the Lord, Adonai) do you really believe the Word to be true, living, and useful in every moment of your life? do you believe the Holy Spirit dwells within you to help you become more like Christ and to lead you? Is your belief in the Lord and the Bible and His Spirit unvarnished? Or is it tainted/influenced by the world that we live in? Or do you believe in the Lord and karma? Or the Lord and self? Or the Lord and America? Or the Lord and power? Or the Lord and my doctor? This list is also endless…

 

God has really been working hard and heavy on my mind and my heart and my worldview and challenging it to the very core. I just wonder what our world would like if we allowed the very depths, the entire Truth to totally saturate and challenge everything that we hold dear. I would like to share the way that God has been redefining my worldview, but I want you to understand that I am not saying you should find my worldview, although I do hope that you will find my God and that you will totally and blindly adore and honor Him and maybe, just maybe His light will shine brightly from my heart like a beacon straight to Him. I am a military brat, from quite the career military family, raised to be a patriot and having experienced life in another country and culture, the spirit of entrepreneurship and pulling oneself up by ones bootstraps runs deeply, the American dream taught and demonstrated. Now, I find myself at a place where I’m not an American. I am a Christ follower. I don’t want to pull myself up and be another rags to riches story. I am a Christ follower. I don’t pledge allegiance to a flag. I pledge allegiance to Adonai. This is not my home. I belong in Heaven. I was not created long for this world. I was created in the image of God with eternity in mind.

 

Do you remember the Israelites that walked in circles in the dessert for 40 years? The chosen people who witnessed the 10 plagues 1^st hand, they saw the waters part and the Egyptians swallowed up, they received the 10 commandments on stone from God Himself, they saw the beauty on Moses’ face when he came down from being with God (and much much more, hopefully you get my drift). They made golden calves and worshipped idols and later begged God for a king to rule them. And God said He was their King and they continued to beg for a human king to rule them. And well, if you’ve read the Bible you know that did not turn out so well.

 

I am not saying to be a rebel. I am not saying not to support America or to vote. I am just saying that we should look different. I am a rebel. And lately I have noticed it rearing it’s ugly head over and over again. Some of our cultural/Christian/church traditions make me crazy. You don’t have to look far to figure out that many of our traditions are dead and serve no value and yet we hold onto them with tightly clenched fists. They have absolutely no Biblical backing and yet they have become like law. I am not interested in what we call church anymore, I am bored by our traditions and our version of wandering aimlessly through the dessert. I am interested in looking different. I want the church (not the one on every other corner but the actual church which the Lord defines as His body of believers) to look different. I want the statistics to reflect people who have done a 180 turnabout. I don’t want to just be a people that darken the doorstep of churches 3-4 times a week. I want to be part of a movement where the church is the church. I wonder what our country would look like if we hushed our mouths and bruised our knees. If we stopped with the soapboxes and the boycotting of all things of the world that we are supposed to live in and we fell to our knees. Again, do we really believe that the Holy Spirit is God? That He is alive and welcome here in America? What would happen if we stopped bashing presidential candidates like the rest of the world and just let the Holy Spirit do His thing? Do we believe what the Word says in Romans: that there is no authority in place that He has not allowed. Are we willing to look different? My worldview is still a work in progress and I am definitely a sinful saint. I am blunt and hyper and often wrong. But I am so grateful that Adonai loves me and continues to fight for me and humbles me and transforms me more and more every day.

 

Many many folks think we are living in the end times and that Jesus is soon returning. I still believe that we will not know, He is coming, but no one knows the day. Nevertheless, let’s live lives that say: I am ready for your return Jesus. And since He wants that none should perish, how about we show the world all the love He has given us. It is easy to love a loveable person, but let’s love those that are more difficult. Please remember from where you came. I have probably written it before…but my favorite story in the gospels is of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her alabaster jar of perfume and her tears and her long hair (LK 7:47). And Jesus told the naysayers: those who have been forgiven much, love much. Let’s remember how much we’ve been forgiven and that any and all sin separates us from God! We are all in such desperate need of a Savior!

Shiny

Last year I had this feeling, I couldn’t quite put it into words, but it was there nonetheless…I felt like I was running on fumes, like I was surviving on my fat reserves. I kept standing on the same scriptures, the ones that God had used in many, many ways in my life and marriage and family. I kept ending up in the same favorite passages. It was like my comfort zone, like a favorite blanket on a chilly afternoon. I am so glad that I had those fat reserves, so glad I had those passages to stand on. But, aren’t you glad our God is more than we can put in yesterdays box? His mercies are new every morning. I can spend my lifetime learning and loving Him and still not know but a glimpse of Who He is.

Have you ever seen the progressive sanctification in your life? Can you look back at your maturing and see things that you thought were so absolute and that you knew so well and now you think, oh that was so childish, I hardly knew what I was talking about. God, Abba is constantly challenging us to trust Him in new ways, to commit to Him in new ways and to grow in our love and faith and forgiveness. Can you look back at a major, catastrophic event in your life and say Thank You Jesus! I have been looking back over the 1^st 7 years of our marriage and I have been thanking God for the hell we came out of. I’m not brave enough to say I would willingly walk it again, but I am so grateful for all the fruit that came out of it and for our fully restored marriage.

I have been reading, studying, memorizing His Word for many years…I went to a Christian College, then to Bible School, worked in full-time ministry for years and yet I feel like I can never read enough of His Word, but it had become comfortable, complacent, boring, if you will.

I am reveling in this word ‘New’ right now. He is doing a New thing in my heart! A New thing in my walk! He is going to stretch me and grow me into this New thing that He has in mind. Never has the living, breathing Word of God, been more refreshing than the last few days. Twice in the last week it has literally jumped off the pages and wowed me out of my complacency. His Word is indeed active and alive and sharper than any two-edged sword.

I do not know what this New thing is. But here is what I do know. I don’t like to be bored and I am ready for the challenge. I don’t imagine it’ll be like a fairytale, I imagine it will be dirty and hard and ugly and glorious all at the same time!

Gypsy Sabatical

This move has been incredibly hard. Harder even than I’ve been able to process the last few months. So hard in fact, that I told a friend the other day that this gypsy is ready to hang up her gypsy shoes because moving and starting over with friends, activities and church has become a lot like work.

The hard part was not the lack of employment. For some reason, to have faith in that area was easy for me. My Father is the owner of the cattle on a thousand hills. I never doubted His Provisions…not that the filling out applications and searching for work was fun, but I knew He had a plan and that it would line up as soon as the time was right. And it did. Jason really likes his job. There’s room for advancement, his boss is a nice guy and willing to show him more than is currently required so that in the future there’s room for advancement.

Even though I knew that the move to ND was never supposed to be permanent, I threw myself all in. I let go of all my quiet, reserved inhibitions and made some deep and true friendships in the short time that we were there. God restored our marriage and as a family we grew leaps and bounds. But letting go is harder than just moving to a new town. Letting go of the expectations that things will be the same and being willing to embrace the ‘new’ that God has for us is very, very hard. I have been exhausted and off kilter for weeks. Every day I seem to be learning a lesson that I can’t yet put into words.

It is beautiful here! The people are offering more than just surface deep southern hospitality. They have genuinely embraced us and welcomed us in. In this park where there are 7 permanent campers, we have become like a family. We have family meals together on Sundays, we visit like the neighbors that we are, we have made friends. We visited a church the last two Sundays, which we think is the one. And yet, still there is something missing. More and more I see it is me. This move is not going to be like the 1^st part of our adventure and I have got to let go and embrace what He is store for us on this leg of our adventure. I have got to let go of the attitude that this is temporary and must open myself up to whatever He is up to, so that He will let the floodgates open. It is a sin to have faith in one area and to block off another from Him altogether.

Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Yes, Adonai! I see. And I am ready to listen and to embrace whatever is in our path on this new adventure. I will open myself up and be ready to dive into new friendships!

Humble in the Making

Isn’t pride wonderful…instead of keeping a steady flow of blogs coming, I shut down until after a trial to write what I’ve learned instead of buckling down and being transparent during. Thank God that He is faithful even when I am not. This has been a season of testing and sifting for our family and a time for us to walk out the prayer I started praying last fall: that we would walk by faith and not by sight.

Despite an earlier post on FB that we were moving and that J had found a job, we are still at the beautiful campground in Garrison that we are calling home in this season and unemployed. Thank God for my man that is not afraid of work and for his talents in so many areas. There has been a steady stream of side jobs that have kept the coffers from being totally bare. We are learning to trust the Provider instead of the provisions, which I think is a lesson that will put us in good standing when our dreams are realized.

This campground has a large herd of deer that run freely, some even succumb to being handfed, but they are really little better than goats, because you have to make sure you put anything valuable up at dusk find it chewed up in the morning; it has a family of giuneafowl that are pretty but loud and have made a nest in the tree next to our camper which leads to the trees that are everywhere; there is a spring fed pool here that used to be the spring used for bottled water in the area, beautiful wooded hiking trails and wonderful, kind and generous neighbors. This place, even if it is a temporary respite from the hustle and bustle of life, has truly been a gift.

The kids are enrolled in school, and while they enjoy being around the kids, neither one wakes up ready to go to school. Mostly they want to stay home and homeschool and be with us. It is my hope that they are learning much during this season from us being happy and full of smiles and faith even amidst lack of steady employment. If we can just give them a legacy of faith and not following the herd, then I will count it great joy!

Wise enough to listen

Titus 2: 3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I love this passage of scripture, you may notice it is in the title of the blog…in the Bible study that I am leading right now Beth Moore talked about the older ladies and honored them in a wonderful way and it brought tears to my eyes.

I have been pondering the many women who have greatly influenced my life. I remember when I agreed to lead this study I fully expected just a group of my peers and younger to attend. Boy was I shocked when I saw the diversity of age and backgrounds of the women who decided to join this study. I was humbled and terrified speechless that first week, someone else stood in the gap and led us in prayer. But, I am so very grateful for this wonderfully, diverse group of ladies that God brought together for our study.

 From a very young age I took to older women.  From wonderful grandmothers and aunts and family friends I learned to love listening to stories about earlier times and ways.  The world would find a way to misalign that and say I had mommy issues or something…but the truth is, I have always loved the stories of days gone by. There are the stories of triumph in difficulty, the stories of floundering to find their own way as I have too, and the wisdom that comes with age and experience.  These are invaluable for those of us still travelling those roads.

 I am so very thankful to the women who found me worthy enough to pour some of themselves and their knowledge into who I am and who I will be. And I just wanted to encourage younger women to have a diverse group of people close to your heart and in your life. And wiser ladies, please understand that what you have to give and share with us is incredibly valuable and we need your encouragement. Don’t feel like what you have to say and give is outdated or in any way useless. Times are different, but the desires of a woman’s heart: to be loved, to be a good wife and mom, those are timeless. And we need women to look up to who have gone before us, who have fought in the trenches and have overcome, people who won’t sugarcoat the responsibilities and difficulties of marriage, but will share some of their biggest defeats and biggest triumphs candidly.  Sometimes even when we don’t think we need this guidance.  Perhaps then most of all.  We all need encouragement and hope, a helping hand, a kind heart – just like in the scripture above.  

 

Leaves are changing colors

My father once told me while I was working at the farm: The only thing constant in your life is change! That was 12 years ago. I’m not so sure that anything has really changed!

I am amazed that living with my hubby and seeing him and communicating with him regularly that I was able to be totally blindsided! But I was. My dear friend in the faith recently commented on my spidey sense, and how I am always in tune with the changing seasons. I had been saying for several weeks that change was in the air, change was coming for us. But I thought it was coming by way of a home, that we were going to get to settle down in this community that we’ve grown to love and appreciate. I had no idea that hubby was secretly dreading the thought of working outside through another winter, I had no idea he was ready to hit the road.

And while being blindsided with his desire to move on, I AM IN. I have absolutely no reservations about leaving. I am very excited about this next leg of our adventure. The kids are equally excited about our journey. They keep trying to pack Go-bags and ask if today is the day. Our son is praying anxiously for this move to involve a home, even a small home, a little bigger than our camper. And when I told him, trying to prepare him, that we would probably be spending more time in the camper as we try to figure out where to live and get some money ready, he was devastated. It’s a good thing he bounces back quickly.

The babydoll adds a T to Texas. She keeps talking about moving to TexTas (it is so very darlin’) and is so very excited. And as long as we are in Tennessee for Christmas, because Christmas is in TN (her words, not mine), I think she’ll be good to go.

I have grown and been challenged in so many areas of my life while being here. I am so thankful for the many friendships and very fun memories that we have made. I will remember our season here in the very NorthWest corner of ND very fondly. Thank you for making our time here awesome!

 

My Son, my son!

For those that knew us when my son was small…and for those that are maybe walking there right now…I want to share with you some of the fruit. Don’t lose heart!

A while back a friend reminisced with me and told me about a time when they had left our home and she said to her husband I hope our sons don’t act like that.

My son, my son! He was such an awesome baby, so sweet and easy. Then there was about a year when he was 3’ish that I didn’t leave the house with him alone. If hubby or my mom weren’t with us, we stayed home. He was headstrong, and temperamental, full of energy and rambunctious and I was scared to leave the house with him, frightened he would run in front of a car or tear up the grocery store.

I took a nap with him daily just to have enough energy to keep up with him. He would go down for his nap and I would have my quiet time and then a nap, so that when he woke up I’d be rejuvenated for him. For a while we were in such a bad place that I made a behavior chart, I made it idiot proof so that there was no way he wouldn’t get stickers during the day. This was a great reboot for our relationship. The child is quick! I had to revive my disciplining daily. The same discipline didn’t work all the time.

Let me just insert, that it wasn’t always time to discipline. From the time he was born I have spoken life into him daily. On top of our daily devotionals and reading from the Bible and memorizing scripture, I affirm him. I tell him that if I got to choose I would choose him again. I tell him that he is my favorite: 1^st and middle name. I tell him that I am proud to be his mom (and now he answers me: I am proud to be your son).

If you are in a difficult season with your kiddos, can I just encourage you that you are the right mom for the job. God determined at the foundations of the world, at creation that you would be that child’s parent. It was not a spur of the moment decision when sperm met egg. Think about this, at creation you were on His mind, all your days were written. Yes we have free-will, but that does not mean that anything surprises God, you never catch him off-guard. You are exactly the right fit for your child. If you are an adoptee or an adopted mom, I believe the same for you and your kiddos. God knows and He knew. He has uniquely gifted you with everything that your child needs. That does not mean that you will not make mistakes. But God’s grace is sufficient to walk through it.

It was a hard hard time. Can I just say that it was labor intensive! But, now the fruits of our hard work and consistency has paid off!

Here are a few recent stories that help to rejuvenate me as a mom. Because lets face it, being a parent is a full-time, always on, kind of gig.

His little sister is now in Elementary school and so she has joined the big kids church. The children’s Pastor praised him because he was singing (not the best singer he's ever heard) but singing with all his might with his hands raised and loving Jesus. And Pastor thought that was a great example for him to be living for his sister. Because she'll see many people but it'll be him that she watches…

His dad told him he had to ride in the front seat with his sister on his bus. Well another kindergarten girl's older brother won’t sit w her so he sits w both girls. I send them a snack and the other day he gave his to her. And told me I needed to pack more snacks because their mom doesn’t.

There is nothing that makes my heart swell quite as much as listening to him break out with a worship song.