J and I don't really go out on dates. We don't have family close by and he feels very strongly that the kids are our responsibility and doesn't really want to leave them with a sitter. And since he feels so strongly about it, I don't really have to think about it and have an opinion, cuz well it's not going to trump him on this matter...so yesterday when J and E came in with big ole grins on their faces and looking like they had something up their sleeves I reacted with sarcasm when I should have reacted with glee. J had already planned with E (who is officially old enough to stay home alone) for him to be responsible and take sweet care of his sister so that J could take me on a date. He came in with E on his heels and asked if he could take me on a date, a surprise date. Feeling the playfulness of their moods I said: date? what's that? Well, I watched as my man totally deflated. He didn't even hang out and verbally spar with me, he just left the scene.
When you work with your spouse you can get into a routine and just because you are always together, does not mean that you are always feeling together. We used to be good at turning opportunities into dates: random walks on the beach during lunch, quiet moments stolen here or there, stopping for lunch when we get off early...but these last few months have been high stress, so there haven't been many moments.
I went to him and offered him a sincere apology for my sarcasm and lack of respect and told him I would love to go on a surprise date with him. Y'all he planned the whole day: a cup of tea and a walk and deep conversation on a park bench, a stop at the beach to see what it looked like today (glorious), lunch and a chick-flick. He picked all the places and the movie, the only decision I had to make was what to order for lunch. It was a beautiful day to spend the day together, communicating deeply and hoping for the future.
Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Husbands that are well respected love their wives well and jump through hoops to make them smile and to make her load easier. It can be hard to rewire your brain to offer up respect, but our men, yes that includes our sons, need respect like they need air. It will totally reinvent your relationship. It takes some getting used to, the intentionally speaking respectful and honoring, but it is worth the shock factor when a foreign sentence comes out of your mouth.
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