This year has been quite a whirlwind. In January I stepped completely outside my comfort zone and invited about 20 women to my tiny, cramped trailer to share the vision God had begun to show me. 12 showed up to hear what I had to say as I shared my passion for Titus 2 and what that looked like with a community approach. That meeting launched a small group that we have named Barnabus Tribe, a young ladies Bible study and the Mommy/Daughter group was solidified.
Shortly after that meeting I found out I was pregnant. Surprise! And I thought isn’t that just like God to wait until I launch several small groups to breathe new life into my old hope of having a large family. It was time to find a house, like now. We had been looking and looking and He only opened 1 door and it was in a different town and further away than we wanted to be. But, our family was growing and we were already stuffed like sausages in our tiny 2 bedroom trailer so we bid on our new home.
We miscarried the week before we closed on our new fixer upper. We spent 2 months gutting the house before moving into a construction zone. The kids met the neighbors and made new friends and eventually started the new school year off at new schools. One kid loves it and the other is set on missing and hanging onto his old friends in the next town over.
The small groups are amazing. They have blessed me in ways I can’t yet describe. To see ladies grow in their walk with the Lord and take seriously the command to love our neighbors as ourselves, such an honor to watch. God continues to build this desire for community deep in my heart. Yes, I know, funny that He would give this introvert such a love of people and desire to be a catalyst to deep and meaningful relationships. I want to be a place to connect people, to have get togethers and watch as people meet and friendships develop.
The young ladies Bible study morphed and I was introduced to a whole new set of ladies. Watching people fall in love with Jesus and have Him rock and rebuild/restructure their lives is one of the coolest things to get to witness!
Then we found out we were pregnant again. Now, why at age 42, 10 years of a faded desire for a larger family, without making any changes, I would find myself pregnant again…no clue. Jason was over the moon and I was reserved and didn’t want to tell people yet. I was thrilled and scared. We were going to tell our parents at Thanksgiving. While at girls night Friday I started having a miscarriage. I knew what was happening but didn’t say anything because it was fun and I knew that would make it awkward and end the festivities. There are 2 sides to that coin, my not wanting to be center of attention and their desire as women to nurture one that they love.
I have no idea why in this beautiful season and all that God has done and is doing that we would suffer 2 losses. My sweet tender-hearted girl is heartbroken. My logical and analytical son says I told you I wasn’t getting excited this time until there was actually a baby. My tender-hearted hubby thinks this is his fault, punishment. I can’t wait to see how God brings beauty from these ashes. Because there’s no doubt in my mind that He will. I am still weak and in pain, it is a fresh wound for us. We are trudging along like we do. God has been so good to us and those 7 years of adventure He knitted us together in such a cool way and prepared us to support each other when things are rough.
I am more grateful than I can say for the army of women God has surrounded me with. Last night, for the 1st time in my life, a girlfriend brought my family supper…beautiful gift. Community is an awesome thing.
#journeyingtogether #journeywithme #titustwojourney #communitybuilding #strongertogether
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