Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Words matter

Careful what you preach…the things that we teach and that we say will come back to hold us accountable. I have a friend that talks about something that I often teach: we don’t grow in our comfort zones. Evidently it made an impact because she has said it often. I am someone who has often been called out of her comfort zones and challenged to break the mold. Well, this mantra strikes me funny, not ha ha, lately. I came into this year knowing that I was supposed to write a book, didn’t necessarily know what kind of book, just a book. So, I started saying it out loud, to actual people. Well when you tell people that you are writing a book it seems to have several automatic follow-up questions: What kind of book? What’s it about? Have you always wanted to write? How long have you been working on it? When are you going to be finished? I didn’t really have that kind of info, I just knew that I was stepping out of (not away from) my comfy small group leader role and announcing that I was writing a book, ill-prepared for the follow-up questions.
For me just saying that I am writing a book is nerve wracking! I do actually have answers to some of those questions now. But still way out of my depth. Anyone who thinks being a Christian is boring has never met my Lord. He is never-changing and all-knowing but that does not mean that my walk is dull or narrow or monotonous. The boldness required to announce that I am writing a book seems to only be the tip of the iceberg for what is actually in store. When my friend challenged us with making vision boards for the year I was really surprised by the theme.
It is funny, not ha ha, to me how often and how subtly fear can ooze its way back into our lives. One of the ways is through our comfort zones. Even when what we consider comfort zones appear bold to others. The Bible mentions some form of do not fear or be courageous over 365 times. With that kind of pattern, I assume it’s almost normal for us to be prone to fear. I was recently challenged by a quote that really grabbed me in this season: ‘failure will always feel better than regret’ Jess Ekstrom. I want to strike out and fail more often than sitting around worried about what could have been. Does it matter that I’ve never desired to write a book? Does it matter that I have no idea how to get my book into hands and in front of people? Does it matter that the fear of succeeding and having to talk in front of people is almost more daunting than writing a book I’m not sure I want to write? One of my favorite quotes of all times and I have no idea where I heard it 1st: ‘delayed obedience is disobedience’. I must write simply because I know that I have been told to write, the outcome is not really my problem or my current concern.
#carefulwhatyoupreach #journeywithme #journeyingtogether #titustwojourney

Perfect in my weakness

My peeps have been drooling and begging for cookies. I found the time today to make their wish come true. However, today this act of love is hitting me fully in the face. I love to bake and as a general rule it doesn’t bother me at all to have goodies around. But today! Today my weakness is showing. I make great chocolate chip cookies. You see I stopped eating flour 3.5 years ago. And it has been quite the miracle. I mean I was a major bread lover. Growing up in Germany where the truck delivered fresh and aromatic bread through the neighborhood developed quite the craving and weakness in me. I like to make bread. I like to eat bread. And I really like the smell of fresh bread. But with my health problems, cutting these 2 inflammation causing ingredients out of my diet became necessary. The miraculous part is: that I have been able to do it and do not feel as though I am missing out on life’s greatest treats.
I haven’t really replaced these 2 ingredients with other things. I eat different kinds of foods now than I did then. But I didn’t get on a gluten-free diet. I still don’t use artificial sweeteners. I have learned to enjoy dark chocolate. And as a general rule I am quite content with my new diet. I can be at a social gatherings and find that it bothers others way more than me when they see me not eating flour or sugar foods.
But! Today it’s rainy and we haven’t worked all week. It’s tax season. Outside forces/struggles seem to be stronger than normal. Isn’t it just like the enemy to go after the weakened sheep? Are there things in your life that you have given up and have come back around to bite you? God has used (among other things) eliminating these 2 things to develop self-discipline deep within me. It is also fruit of the Holy Spririt.
Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version (NIV) 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
2 Timothy 1:7 New International Version (NIV)   7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

What are some ways that you build your resolve against temptation? Today, I am writing this blog instead of standing in the kitchen eating the very yummy smelling cookies. But some days it involves taking a walk, pulling out my journal, getting on my knees, eating a piece of gum or fruit (dried pineapple is my favorite).
#realtalk #journeyingtogether #journeywithme #titustwojourney #perfectinmyweakness

Deeper

21 years into this journey with my Savior and still there is deeper and more…over 365 times the Bible says to not fear, and many times it says to be strong and courageous. The Bible talks about being bold and not living according to what others think or expect of you. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and everything else will be added to you, Matthew 6:33.
So why do we live in fear? Why do we worry about being popular? Why do we, who are created unique in the very image of God, try to look and be like others? I was finally able to watch Harriet yesterday and I find myself totally blown away! What an incredible movie and it had deep and obvious spiritual ties in it; I am impressed that it was made and aired and that people enjoyed it. Which are all things I think we should take notice of…I believe we live in a time when people are hungry for Truth. They don’t know how to show it and we have gotten bogged down and labeled hypocrites so we don’t readily let our lights shine. Nonetheless, people are hungry and thirsty and there is only One that satisfies.
This woman was brave and courageous. She stood in the face of horrid opposition to get down in the dirty, treacherous trenches to fight for those who desperately needed freedom. I am humbled. Harriet’s bravery stemmed from a deep trust of her Savior. She spent time with Him, heard from Him and obeyed Him. And I don’t want to in any way distract from what she did in freeing slaves but I want to draw some spiritual parallels and I don’t want to expound on the human rights issues that she so brilliantly fought against, but I also don’t want to in any way offend people by using her as a spring board.
Harriet is a hero of our faith. I am so glad that she was recognized and honored in such a beautiful way. When things were especially turbulent, she spoke with passion and deep conviction to those who had forgotten what slavery was like and had gotten comfortable with the perks of their freedom. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. How many of us have been saved and set free and then gotten comfortable?
I am humbled by this beautiful womans testimony because I have given fear, of what people think, a crumb. I know that God has asked me to write a book. But somehow writing a book is more terrifying to me than writing my blog. In fact, it has surfaced some distrust that I have. I have had to repent and ask God to forgive me for not believing that He would make a way. For not believing that He would sell it. For not believing that He would give me the words. For not believing that people need to hear my testimony. Sin creeps in so easily and is never satisfied with the crumbs we initially feed it. It is an invasive species, much like Kudzu, that comes into our lives and dictates ownership. Paul exhorts us to die to our flesh daily. We must take seriously this command. Our adversary is real, roaring and on the prowl to devour.
Back to my life verse above. I remember being at the farm, where I was in full-time ministry when God revealed that verse to me. It is always good to heed the Word that God has deeply printed on your heart. I have to write to reach even one. If my journey can in any way impact another then I must offer the comfort that God has so graciously poured out onto me. I must write because He has breathed His very life into me. I want to be courageous like Harriet. I want to fight for freedom. I want to fight so that people will know there is something more satisfying that will quench the void in their souls.

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Reflections and Beauty

It’s November…a lot of people probably do their reflecting in December and January as they contemplate their resolutions and goals for the coming year. For me, it often starts in November and corresponds with our thankful tree. As I reflect on what I’m thankful for it makes me reminisce on the year.
This year has been quite a whirlwind. In January I stepped completely outside my comfort zone and invited about 20 women to my tiny, cramped trailer to share the vision God had begun to show me. 12 showed up to hear what I had to say as I shared my passion for Titus 2 and what that looked like with a community approach. That meeting launched a small group that we have named Barnabus Tribe, a young ladies Bible study and the Mommy/Daughter group was solidified.
Shortly after that meeting I found out I was pregnant. Surprise! And I thought isn’t that just like God to wait until I launch several small groups to breathe new life into my old hope of having a large family. It was time to  find a house, like now. We had been looking and looking and He only opened 1 door and it was in a different town and further away than we wanted to be. But, our family was growing and we were already stuffed like sausages in our tiny 2 bedroom trailer so we bid on our new home.
We miscarried the week before we closed on our new fixer upper. We spent 2 months gutting the house before moving into a construction zone. The kids met the neighbors and made new friends and eventually started the new school year off at new schools. One kid loves it and the other is set on missing and hanging onto his old friends in the next town over.
The small groups are amazing. They have blessed me in ways I can’t yet describe. To see ladies grow in their walk with the Lord and take seriously the command to love our neighbors as ourselves, such an honor to watch. God continues to build this desire for community deep in my heart. Yes, I know, funny that He would give this introvert such a love of people and desire to be a catalyst to deep and meaningful relationships. I want to be a place to connect people, to have get togethers and watch as people meet and friendships develop.
The young ladies Bible study morphed and I was introduced to a whole new set of ladies. Watching people fall in love with Jesus and have Him rock and rebuild/restructure their lives is one of the coolest things to get to witness!
Then we found out we were pregnant again. Now, why at age 42, 10 years of a faded desire for a larger family, without making any changes, I would find myself pregnant again…no clue. Jason was over the moon and I was reserved and didn’t want to tell people yet. I was thrilled and scared. We were going to tell our parents at Thanksgiving. While at girls night Friday I started having a miscarriage. I knew what was happening but didn’t say anything because it was fun and I knew that would make it awkward and end the festivities. There are 2 sides to that coin, my not wanting to be center of attention and their desire as women to nurture one that they love.
I have no idea why in this beautiful season and all that God has done and is doing that we would suffer 2 losses. My sweet tender-hearted girl is heartbroken. My logical and analytical son says I told you I wasn’t getting excited this time until there was actually a baby. My tender-hearted hubby thinks this is his fault, punishment. I can’t wait to see how God brings beauty from these ashes. Because there’s no doubt in my mind that He will. I am still weak and in pain, it is a fresh wound for us. We are trudging along like we do. God has been so good to us and those 7 years of adventure He knitted us together in such a cool way and prepared us to support each other when things are rough.
I am more grateful than I can say for the army of women God has surrounded me with. Last night, for the 1st time in my life, a girlfriend brought my family supper…beautiful gift. Community is an awesome thing.
#journeyingtogether #journeywithme #titustwojourney #communitybuilding #strongertogether

Monday, November 18, 2019

Muscle Memory

The other day the kids were watching the new karate kid. I was doing other things but kept catching snippets of dialogue which sent my brain on a jog. Mr. Miagi offers to help the kid learn to defend himself. He has the kid doing basic exercises (taking off his coat, putting it back on), lots and lots of repetition of these basic exercises. The kid agrees to do things Mr. Miagi’s way until he gets frustrated with the monotony and lack of fighting skills.
We live in a social media run society. Most of our interactions involve likes and how many likes a post gets. Everyone is important and thinks it’s all about them. We were told as kids that we can be anything we want.
How often has God asked us to do something simple? And we agree and even have a great attitude in the beginning. Then when we think we have done our time and our visions of grandeur are not being fulfilled...have we walked away? Have we said: I must have misheard? There has to be more than this.
Mr. Miagi comes in and shows the young grasshopper how to take his muscle memory actions and turn them into useful defense moves. There was a reason behind the routine, the monotony, the same thing over and over.
Are we so busy wishing we were on stage? Or writing a book? Or leading a conference? Or something else that seems earthly important and status changing? That we have totally missed the muscle memory exercises that are necessary for the calling and purpose that our obedience is going to walk us into?
Our spiritual life is much like a muscle and it must be used, flexed, stretched and challenged.

Stand for Truth

I am thoroughly enjoying reading through Daniel right now. It comes on the heel of Ezekiel which I had a hard time with this time around, but as I turned the page to Daniel God so encouraged my heart with his plight. I know the stories of Daniel are taught over and over and so we can approach it with a dull “I already know this” attitude. But, God gave me a newness as I have been reading, a refreshing as He opened my eyes to the realness of the emotions Daniel would have felt as he stood steadfast for His God.
As he and his pals headed to the furnace he said: even if God doesn’t save us I won’t turn away. It also says that the king had the furnace heated to 7 times it’s normal heat, it was so hot that the soldiers leading them to the fire were killed. The king was in awe because 4 men could be seen in the fire (what kind of furnace must this have been for them to be able to see inside and contain that kind of heat?). They went in fully clothed, turbans and layers and all. When they came out there was nothing singed nor did they smell of smoke. They didn’t even smell like smoke!!! How cool and awesome is our God?!
I have only read the 1st 6 chapters and already Daniel has been highly sought by 3 kings. Not only was Daniel highly sought after, but because of his steadfast devotion, these kings saw the real and living God. These pagan kings praised, honored and glorified God. And, not because Daniel’s life was easy and made of comfort, but because no matter what he faced, he stood for God.
He had real fear. He had to interpret a death sentence to one of the kings. It says that he was stunned when he saw what he had to interpret; I’m thinking I’d have been shaking in my boots. But he gave the king the interpretation and he was given a position of honor and power and the king fell dead.
The next king was tricked via his ego and made an edict to worship the king or die. Well Daniel continued to fall to his knees daily to his Lord and was ratted out. The king could not deny his edict and threw Daniel in the lions den and sealed it with signet rings so there would be no doubt that he was properly locked up. That king was so twisted up that he fasted and didn’t sleep a wink but also didn’t order up entertainment so that he could ignore his feelings. He raced out at dawn to see Daniel. Then the king issued a decree that everyone must tremble in fear before the God of Daniel.
I am just blown away by how God was magnified! A faithful man in the deep sea of sin and depravity, a pagan nation ripe with idolatry, witchcraft, mediums and sex for hire made a massive difference in 3 generations of kings and their kingdoms. A faithful man. More and more I have this deep-seated feeling like the church will soon be required to stop straddling the fence. The time is coming when we must pick a side and stop warming seats. Will we be found like Daniel? Oh, how I want to be found like Daniel. The one matters. If you host a small group and only one shows up, it matters. If you have lunch with one and change the protectory of their life it matters. Jesus left the 99 to find the one lost sheep. One matters. Who can you impact today? You don’t have to be famous or have a huge following, it matters that you are faithful where God has you right now.
#titustwojourney #journeyingtogether #journeywithme #Daniel #faithful #standforTruth

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Call to Prayer

Call to prayer. I don’t know about y’all but there is stuff going around all around me. It has been quite a week! I am both heartbroken and annoyed. God has called us to love like He loves but also called us to be warriors. Ephesians 6 is a well known passage to many of us. It tells us to put on the full armor of God. But it also tell us to never stop praying for the saints.
I have friends that need health miracles, marriage miracles, jobs, wisdom, kids fighting for freedom from the world, so many things just in my circles.
Jesus left us the Helper, the Holt Spirit dwells within us. Jesus sits at the right hand of God interceding on our behalf and the Comforter intercedes for us when we don’t know how to pray. We must stand firm. And pray. Who are you interceding for?
#journeyingtogether
#journeywithme
#titustwojourney